I’m a pretty generous and polite guy by nature – I’ll hold doors open for people, give up seats on a bus or train for the elderly and pregnant women (especially pregnant old women!) and I’ll wait my turn patiently in the queue. So why can’t old people show the same respect?

They’re the same buggers that happily chirp, “I fought in the war for you!” Well, actually, you didn’t – you probably fought for my grandparents or parents, but I appreciate the sentiment. Still, this does not give you the God-given right to become obnoxious when you get older.

Seriously, the amount of time my wife and I have been standing in a queue and an old biddy barges through, or you don’t get even a polite thank you for giving up your seat… it’s like people get to a certain age and think, “Right, screw you world – now I’m going to bitch you up!”

Don’t get me wrong; there are plenty wonderful old people out there. Unfortunately, they’re seemingly becoming the minority. And with the way the new generation of kids today are obnoxious little cretins anyhoo, I despair for the future of mankind. Maybe I’ll go live in my ancestral Scottish cave – I’m bound to have one somewhere…